Day 4: Superstar

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be a superstar

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of my thoughts

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being self honest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I am self honest I will get killed

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that self honesty is with myself and not with others

I forgive myself that I have not accepted an allowed myself to let go of judgement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge, in separation of myself

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that everything is One and Equal as Life and as dust that supports Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having too many thoughts

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore my Equality and Oneness with all that exist/everyone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to establish myself as Equality and Oneness in a day, instead of seeing realizing and understanding that it will take me at least 7 to 14 years of daily application like clockwork

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have ‘everything’ fast, without seeing, and realizing that I have to pass the test of time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in thoughts of the conscious mind instead of stopping them unconditionally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breathe when I feel overwhelmed in my mind

I commit myself to remind myself the thoughts are not real and I can stop them, as they were never real to begin with

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I can stop my mind by stopping my thoughts.

Day 3: Hus Forbi

Here in Denmark, the people that is poor, they sell newspapers. But how have we all allowed rich and poor, where we allow the poor to starve or sometimes, only get by. It is not fair, because we are all Equal and One, thus we should make sure Everione is Equally Supported, and not only allowed to sell newspapers under the rain in Denmark.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to permit the existence of rich and poor 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow the existence of inequality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be rich while fearing to be poor

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be rich instead of working towards making sure that All are supported Equally

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to make love real by doing and creating what is Best for All

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that inequality is not admissible

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that unless everyone is supported equally I have not honoured All Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to take only for myself while disregarding all else that have less luck than me, less opportunities than me, less resources than me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel pity for the poor instead of working on solutions like Equal Money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to be poor

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to work only for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only care for myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to act in ways that are Best for All always

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from everyone else by living in self-interest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if i don't get first I won't get anything instead of realizing it is about giving as I would like to recieve, so give first

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be rich without doing anything other than just surviving with my job while fearing being poor

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to have the guts to make me rich within the principle of doing what is Best for All - to support All Life Equally

Day 2: Honest or Dishonest

Today I went to the mechanic to put winter tires. He said the price was X 'and 200' for me. So basically he was cheating/trying to cheat as he was not the owner of the place. I knew I could not let it pass because the older man owner of the company who was also doing work at the same time, he was getting cheated. So when I went to pay I payed the full amount to the owner instead of this worker that asked for money for himself. 

This situation reminded me of when I was working as a waiter and the tips had to be shared equally among all the waiters and the cooks. I cheated many times and it is not cool because the agreement was they were going to be shared the tips.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep tips to myself when they had to be shared.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to steal money from the tip jar.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spite my coworkers by stealing money from the tip jar and by keeping tips for myself only

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider my coworkers in stealing tips.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to honor the agreement that tips have to be shared.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to despite knowing what is best, act in self interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spite my coworkers and the chefs by stealing and not sharing tips.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to steal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that stealing when I didn't have the need is dishonest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am 'bad' because I stole tips

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as bad

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that money gotten in ill ways is not satisfactory at the end of the day

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to allow others to be dishonest with money because I have been dishonest with money in the past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the hard work my colleagues did by stealing tips.

I commit myself to be honest and not accept dishonesty in myself or others

I commit myself to not steal

I commit myself to be fair 

I commit myself to do as agreed in relation to money

I commit myself to have integrity in everything I do and in relation to money

Whenever I see that I am wanting to steal money, I stop and I breathe

I realise it is not cool to be spiteful and disohesnt

Thus I commit myself to have integrity with money

Day 1: Not Quite There

It doesn't matter how much time I have been on and off writing blogs in this 7 year Journey to Life, I haven't achieved the 2555 blogs/days mark that are 7 years of Daily blogging. So it's more like I will finish this Journey in 2030 or beyond, and it is okay.

I have noticed that I am not changed, that I still struggle with the same points as the beginning of this journey, while I have changed some aspects of myself, I am not yet in the 'nothingness' stage, where I reach nothingness and from where I can start my process of Self Creation.

There are no shortcuts to the Journey to Life, that's what I have observed in myself, gotta be self-honest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because I have walked over many years that I have reached nothingness whithout testing and making sure of it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see what reality shows me, in my behaviour and living, that I have not reached nothingness yet

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that this process takes 2555 days of daily writing, nothing less, nothing more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that there is no easy way, only 'the way'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become 'lazy' and want to take shortcuts in the Journey to Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that every person is a unique case and that I should not compare myself to other people 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can make the Journey to Life in less days than 2555 days/ 7 years.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that standing up is not only in writing a blog daily but in standing up in reality, the way I live every day

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that unless I am the same 'yesterday, today and tomorrow' as Jesus said, I am not changed in fact

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to 'have done it' instead of 'doing it' in fact - the 7 Years Journey to Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that even though I might see what I want to do in life, this doesn't mean I have made it to nothingness in the 7 Year Journey to Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I have to prove it in real space-time that I have changed in fact

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allwoed myself to believe that I can't make the 7 Year Journey to Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allwoed myself to not see that if Bernard did it, I can do it too

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I am capable of finishing but most importantly walking the 7 year journey to Life

I commit myself to trust myself that I can walk the 7 year Journey to Life

I commit myself to not give up in the 7 year Journey to Life

I commit myself to walk the 7 Year Journey To Life until it is done, no matter how long it takes

I commit myself to take it one day at a time, and to walk on day at a time and write once a day until it is done

I commit myself to support myself in seeing that unless I walk it every day, or the next day if I miss one day - it will not walk itself

I commit myself to see that I am capable of walking the 7 Year Journey To Life

I commit myself to remind myself that walking the 7 Year Journey To Life is not only on paper but in real-time living

I commit myself to let go of all addictions and behaviors that don't serve myself or Life in my Journey to Life

Day 56: All Comes Together - My Last Entry

This is my last entry on this blog. Like the lyrics say 'what you do when the chapter ends, do you close the book and never read it again?' I have been pushed to talk and take this decision that I realized, hey, I have gone through the eye of the needle. If I don't accept myself to have done it I will forever sabotage myself, because I tend to never give up which means I am 'stuck' in some application, like I repeated the first course of university several times although failing at it until I eventually moved to do something else.

'The sun comes down and comes back up' say the lyrics of 'Hold on' by Louis Tomilson

I never gave up this process, I might have had times where I didn't apply myself at all and indulged as they say in 'terrenal pleasures' avoiding taking responsibility for myself, but then I would go back to writing. 

Over the course of my process of blogging, 7 years journey to life, I started on the 10th of April 2008, so making the numbers I have walked this blogging process for 15 years and a half. I was 17 years old at the time I started this blog. I'm 33 now.

I have written 454 plus blogs over three different blogs: 

- This one you are reading now

- aStudentJourneyToLife

- BipolarsJourneyToLife

What impulses me to say I have realized who I am and that I am done with the 7 years journey to Life, I stumbled upon the blog by Kristina named 'My final entry' and I saw enough is enough, I can't always think that I am in page 1 when I am not! I know who I am because I have proved it through time that I don't give up and I am still Here no matter what. And it doesn't feel like I have reached anything, it doesn't feel diferent but I trust myself to walk no matter what.

Now as Kristina shares, the process and self forgiveness and expansion never finishes, so now starts the process of Self-Creation.

I know 'what I want out of life' and I am decided to get it done. I know what I will accept and allow and what I won't accept and allow. 

I remember the moment I said to myself 'ive gone through the eye of the needle' but I don't remember exactly what I was doing, if I was high or not -lol. I now have a stable presence, physical presence and I am glad I am Ending this chapter and opening another one of Self-Creation.

How do I know I am not fucking with myself? That I have reached the point of nothingess? I will cross-reference it. Time will  tell. Who is Life and who isn't. Enjoy

Follow my new webiste RubenMoutinho.com

Day 55: Back to Basics

This Blog is in reply to an acquaintance 'philosophy' called 'The Radiant People' 

Back to basics: To make the world a better place = to do what is Best for All.

There is no lessons to learn in this world such as through suffering or otherwise, we either support what is Best for All or we don't, and then there is consquence accordingly, a consequence that is Best for All or not. If it is not Best for All, the being that does not support that which is Best for All is automatically abdicating his right to existence - thus will be eradicated.

The same for Love: Real love is to do what is Best for All. Real love still doesn't exist in this world, where only self interest and abuse exist so far.

Think about the animals that are skinned alive daily, how is 'your love' helping out in that? On the other hand with Equality for All such practices will be abolished for eternity.

There is no specialness of beings, higher bings or otherwise, we are all Equal, and have to do what is Best for All, or die/cease to exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be special as in have special knowledge to be placed above others in my specialness while in fact I disregard all other Life, and allow Life to suffer in unimaginable ways.

There is a process of self forgiveness that is needed, and to walk for a minimum of 7 years doing blogs every day, with this process, which can extend more than 7 years, 'In this journey the patterns that constitute what we have accepted as Our Reality will be deconstructed through self forgiveness and re-constructed through a commitment of correction to that which is best for all life.'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume who we are without seeing direct, who we are is Life and so we should take care of all other Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have aquired some divine knowledge and that I know more than others and can help this world through energy, disregarding the millions of beings that suffer daily due to the real problem: Inequality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I have been conned by the Con of Conciousness, jumping into conclusions of what everything is, without using common sense to see reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that the message of Jesus is most relevant, 'do unto another as you would like them to do onto you'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to go into specialness instead of supporting Equality where there is no 'more' or 'less' of individuals but Equals, yet no Ego can exist so instead I support the Ego in playing the saviour through philosophies that don't support whats best for All but further separation.

For more information

• Desteni Universe
• EQAFE - Existential Library
• 
  

Day 54: Single

Single

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have sex

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  desire to have a girlfriend

I forgive myself that I have accepte and allowed myself to not see realize or understand that it is fine if at the moment I don't have a relationship

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand the importance of time and process

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in regret in terms of having wasted time

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that is when I walk that I see where I should go next

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to simply start doing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as more experienced for knowing about this topic of equality, while the person is still interested in other topics.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as both with food and with flaws

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that if I lose my job, without other income, I am having to change jobs or go unemployed.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I have  intrinsic value, and don't need someone external  to value myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear consequence for not moving myself effectively

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being skinned alive as an animal

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to move myself to change this existence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I can effect world change more that I can conceive.