Day 4: Superstar

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be a superstar

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of my thoughts

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being self honest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I am self honest I will get killed

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that self honesty is with myself and not with others

I forgive myself that I have not accepted an allowed myself to let go of judgement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge, in separation of myself

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that everything is One and Equal as Life and as dust that supports Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having too many thoughts

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore my Equality and Oneness with all that exist/everyone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to establish myself as Equality and Oneness in a day, instead of seeing realizing and understanding that it will take me at least 7 to 14 years of daily application like clockwork

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have ‘everything’ fast, without seeing, and realizing that I have to pass the test of time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in thoughts of the conscious mind instead of stopping them unconditionally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breathe when I feel overwhelmed in my mind

I commit myself to remind myself the thoughts are not real and I can stop them, as they were never real to begin with

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I can stop my mind by stopping my thoughts.

Day 2: Honest or Dishonest

Today I went to the mechanic to put winter tires. He said the price was X 'and 200' for me. So basically he was cheating/trying to cheat as he was not the owner of the place. I knew I could not let it pass because the older man owner of the company who was also doing work at the same time, he was getting cheated. So when I went to pay I payed the full amount to the owner instead of this worker that asked for money for himself. 

This situation reminded me of when I was working as a waiter and the tips had to be shared equally among all the waiters and the cooks. I cheated many times and it is not cool because the agreement was they were going to be shared the tips.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep tips to myself when they had to be shared.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to steal money from the tip jar.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spite my coworkers by stealing money from the tip jar and by keeping tips for myself only

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider my coworkers in stealing tips.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to honor the agreement that tips have to be shared.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to despite knowing what is best, act in self interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spite my coworkers and the chefs by stealing and not sharing tips.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to steal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that stealing when I didn't have the need is dishonest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am 'bad' because I stole tips

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as bad

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that money gotten in ill ways is not satisfactory at the end of the day

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to allow others to be dishonest with money because I have been dishonest with money in the past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the hard work my colleagues did by stealing tips.

I commit myself to be honest and not accept dishonesty in myself or others

I commit myself to not steal

I commit myself to be fair 

I commit myself to do as agreed in relation to money

I commit myself to have integrity in everything I do and in relation to money

Whenever I see that I am wanting to steal money, I stop and I breathe

I realise it is not cool to be spiteful and disohesnt

Thus I commit myself to have integrity with money

Day 56: All Comes Together - My Last Entry

This is my last entry on this blog. Like the lyrics say 'what you do when the chapter ends, do you close the book and never read it again?' I have been pushed to talk and take this decision that I realized, hey, I have gone through the eye of the needle. If I don't accept myself to have done it I will forever sabotage myself, because I tend to never give up which means I am 'stuck' in some application, like I repeated the first course of university several times although failing at it until I eventually moved to do something else.

'The sun comes down and comes back up' say the lyrics of 'Hold on' by Louis Tomilson

I never gave up this process, I might have had times where I didn't apply myself at all and indulged as they say in 'terrenal pleasures' avoiding taking responsibility for myself, but then I would go back to writing. 

Over the course of my process of blogging, 7 years journey to life, I started on the 10th of April 2008, so making the numbers I have walked this blogging process for 15 years and a half. I was 17 years old at the time I started this blog. I'm 33 now.

I have written 454 plus blogs over three different blogs: 

- This one you are reading now

- aStudentJourneyToLife

- BipolarsJourneyToLife

What impulses me to say I have realized who I am and that I am done with the 7 years journey to Life, I stumbled upon the blog by Kristina named 'My final entry' and I saw enough is enough, I can't always think that I am in page 1 when I am not! I know who I am because I have proved it through time that I don't give up and I am still Here no matter what. And it doesn't feel like I have reached anything, it doesn't feel diferent but I trust myself to walk no matter what.

Now as Kristina shares, the process and self forgiveness and expansion never finishes, so now starts the process of Self-Creation.

I know 'what I want out of life' and I am decided to get it done. I know what I will accept and allow and what I won't accept and allow. 

I remember the moment I said to myself 'ive gone through the eye of the needle' but I don't remember exactly what I was doing, if I was high or not -lol. I now have a stable presence, physical presence and I am glad I am Ending this chapter and opening another one of Self-Creation.

How do I know I am not fucking with myself? That I have reached the point of nothingess? I will cross-reference it. Time will  tell. Who is Life and who isn't. Enjoy

Follow my new webiste RubenMoutinho.com

Day 55: Back to Basics

This Blog is in reply to an acquaintance 'philosophy' called 'The Radiant People' 

Back to basics: To make the world a better place = to do what is Best for All.

There is no lessons to learn in this world such as through suffering or otherwise, we either support what is Best for All or we don't, and then there is consquence accordingly, a consequence that is Best for All or not. If it is not Best for All, the being that does not support that which is Best for All is automatically abdicating his right to existence - thus will be eradicated.

The same for Love: Real love is to do what is Best for All. Real love still doesn't exist in this world, where only self interest and abuse exist so far.

Think about the animals that are skinned alive daily, how is 'your love' helping out in that? On the other hand with Equality for All such practices will be abolished for eternity.

There is no specialness of beings, higher bings or otherwise, we are all Equal, and have to do what is Best for All, or die/cease to exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be special as in have special knowledge to be placed above others in my specialness while in fact I disregard all other Life, and allow Life to suffer in unimaginable ways.

There is a process of self forgiveness that is needed, and to walk for a minimum of 7 years doing blogs every day, with this process, which can extend more than 7 years, 'In this journey the patterns that constitute what we have accepted as Our Reality will be deconstructed through self forgiveness and re-constructed through a commitment of correction to that which is best for all life.'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume who we are without seeing direct, who we are is Life and so we should take care of all other Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have aquired some divine knowledge and that I know more than others and can help this world through energy, disregarding the millions of beings that suffer daily due to the real problem: Inequality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I have been conned by the Con of Conciousness, jumping into conclusions of what everything is, without using common sense to see reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that the message of Jesus is most relevant, 'do unto another as you would like them to do onto you'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to go into specialness instead of supporting Equality where there is no 'more' or 'less' of individuals but Equals, yet no Ego can exist so instead I support the Ego in playing the saviour through philosophies that don't support whats best for All but further separation.

For more information

• Desteni Universe
• EQAFE - Existential Library
• 
  

Day 53: I Am Here

 

Here I am, I am here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see my original innocence.

I forgive myself that I have acccepted and allowed myself to not see that I am not my addictions

I forgive myself that I have acccepted and allowed myself to not see that I am not my limitations

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am one and equal as breath, as Life

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I am not my shortcomings

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see my potential

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see all that I can be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not forgive myself effectively

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am Here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see what I can forgive myself for 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I have a hard time forgiving myself because I am not specific enough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to talk back, have back chat in my head

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful in my back chat in my head

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have 'security' in my job

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that there is no security anywhere

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am here

9 Years

 Nine years have passed since I wrote in this blog, and I am happy to write here again. I am older and (maybe) wiser but also I might have had a different spark back in the times I was 22. I am 31 now. 

Back then I had a wish, that things would change. And things have changed, for the worse. I am talking on an existential level, here on Earth, things are getting worse. And I see that I can't do much about it other than starting with myself. This has also been the point, self first, and here I am. It's 1:26 at night and I can't go back. I can't go back to when I was 22 and coerce myself to change, it is in every moment that I have to change.

I have been obsessed with change, but what is it really? When all on the outside collapses. When there is only me left with myself in my bed at night, with unrest for what I could be doing, so much more than what I have done. 

But there - I was going to say that there is hope - but there is no hope, there must be no hope, because hope has mantained me in a way of inaction, not changing myself hoping for a better future. It doesn't work this way. 

At the moment I see myself so insignificant but it doesen't have to be this way, I have kept writing blogs on two other blogs that I have kept, astudentsjourneytolife and bipolarsjourneytolife. I skipped the students' journey to life because I thought I was no longer a student - and could do a better job at walking the bipolars journey to life. As I was saying, it doesn't have to be this way. I feel insignificant because I believe I have no relevance, and I believe I have no relevance but yet this message will reach someone so I will go to the facts:

We are fucked - and this is not a negative message. There is no way out - and this is not a negative message - but only one, to do what is Best for All. And I believed that by merely keeping alive I was doing a favour to someone - that is not true. It is not true because by merely surviving, nothing will change. It is time to create - a world that is Best for All. 

And this is what frustrates me - but why - because the world is not Best for All. Then I should start with myself - push myself to become the best version of myself. That is why I am writing now, not to cry, not to rant and rave about how fucked we are, but there is a way out, remember? Yes, no matter what I do I cannot escape from the consequences of my actions, and so everyone else - from consequence.

So in the meantime, while the world goes to shit, we are doing like Nero, singing with a small harp while the city burns down to the grown, but withdraw the R, remove the R from Nero and you get Neo - the matrix is real and the red pill is real too. Still have to change the world though - but in the meantime I will recover first from taking the red pill - which is when Neo is in a way reborn in the movie -- I am walking my 7 year journey to life to be born again in the pysical, to stop the mind.

I still remember the first time I realised I could talk in my head, to curse and say whatever I wanted, as a little child - it was precisely when my dog was put down and I was very angry, then my mind activated and voilà it was running like a perfect machine - but it can be unplugged. Check out Desteni.org and the blogs, 7 year journey to life blogs, and start your own so that you can show as proof the process you walked and where you stand, because in times of trouble no one will know = who to trust.

7 Year Journey to Life on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife

My blogs

https://bipolarsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/

https://astudentsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/

Enjoy