This is my last entry on this blog. Like the lyrics say 'what you do when the chapter ends, do you close the book and never read it again?' I have been pushed to talk and take this decision that I realized, hey, I have gone through the eye of the needle. If I don't accept myself to have done it I will forever sabotage myself, because I tend to never give up which means I am 'stuck' in some application, like I repeated the first course of university several times although failing at it until I eventually moved to do something else.
'The sun comes down and comes back up' say the lyrics of 'Hold on' by Louis Tomilson
I never gave up this process, I might have had times where I didn't apply myself at all and indulged as they say in 'terrenal pleasures' avoiding taking responsibility for myself, but then I would go back to writing.
Over the course of my process of blogging, 7 years journey to life, I started on the 10th of April 2008, so making the numbers I have walked this blogging process for 15 years and a half. I was 17 years old at the time I started this blog. I'm 33 now.
I have written 454 plus blogs over three different blogs:
- This one you are reading now
What impulses me to say I have realized who I am and that I am done with the 7 years journey to Life, I stumbled upon the blog by Kristina named 'My final entry' and I saw enough is enough, I can't always think that I am in page 1 when I am not! I know who I am because I have proved it through time that I don't give up and I am still Here no matter what. And it doesn't feel like I have reached anything, it doesn't feel diferent but I trust myself to walk no matter what.
Now as Kristina shares, the process and self forgiveness and expansion never finishes, so now starts the process of Self-Creation.
I know 'what I want out of life' and I am decided to get it done. I know what I will accept and allow and what I won't accept and allow.
I remember the moment I said to myself 'ive gone through the eye of the needle' but I don't remember exactly what I was doing, if I was high or not -lol. I now have a stable presence, physical presence and I am glad I am Ending this chapter and opening another one of Self-Creation.
How do I know I am not fucking with myself? That I have reached the point of nothingess? I will cross-reference it. Time will tell. Who is Life and who isn't. Enjoy
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