After my class and the laboratory practice I noticed a redness on the left hand, next to my index finger - a little red spot - and once at home I noticed a bigger spot on my right hand. Because I did not find my latex gloves at home before leaving I had to ask for a pair to a mate but he said he didn't have so I used a pair that was used on top of the table - which is unusual. It looks like there was some chemical in it from the previous user. I thought about rinsing the gloves when I took them but then I thought that I would have the gloves wet and that would be uncomfortable to wear. Instead of assesing the consequences of acting on such a thought, I allowed myself to blindly follow it by not rinsing the gloves despite having the means to dry it with paper tissue that was available.
On my way to school, eventhough I quickly forgave myself for the fear of being burned by acid and starting to breathe and continuing in my effort for not allowing myself to go into anger during the rest of the walk = I was doing it under fear and in fear of getting burned by acid - I did not forgive myself for my starting point of fear but quickly forgave myself and supressed myself by stopping the anger to not have the consequence of getting burned - so I got burned and I was angry again LOL. The burn is only a red spot and it doesn't look like there is damage - dont worry.
This event shows me how the starting point is relevant: I was not forgiving myself from a starting poing of Self Honesty but of self dishonesty in doing it out of fear. Fearing that if I fear I will get burned. Looks like I was fearing my own fear. I only said one self forgiveness statement 'I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself fear getting burned by acid because I am angry' and then I supressed the anger by going into a polarity of calmness.
I submitted to the fear of getting burned and I was not really Here breathing so I got fucked up when I acted on the thought telling me to not rinse the gloves when I considered doing it - I was kind of 'on the clouds' - in my mind - with this point and basically risked my hands for it.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to submit to the fear of getting burned and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create getting burned by acid by fearing it
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to right after forgiving myself for fearing getting burned for being angry = supress my anger going into polarity of calmness in fear of getting burned instead of realizing that I was acting on the fear and thus giving my power away to it in that action
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give my power away to fear
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to apply self forgiveness with the starting point of fear
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to supress my anger in fear of getting an acid burn at school
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to act on the thought that rinsing the gloves I found would make them wet and uncomfortable
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to evaluate the consequences of not rinsing the gloves
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to despite knowing that I was exposing myself to come into contact to chemical substances with my skin - not act on this knowledge
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe and use as an excuse to not rinse the gloves the knowledge that the skin of the hands is the less likely of the body of absorving chemicals
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to jump to the polarity of calmness when I was angry in fear that I will get burned
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to submit to the fear of being burned by acid instead of facing it
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry because I have burned my skin
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expose my physical body to harm by using used latex gloves
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use used latex gloves
It's funny how I even used two gloves for the left hand because I found a pair of used gloves plus another one - and even doing this I got both hands with red spots.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to put on two latex gloves in fear of getting acid on my hands
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to act on the fear of getting burned instead of stopping it
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create getting burned by fearing it
The mate to which I asked for a pair of gloves said that he didn't have more gloves but he found three of them when a girl asked for gloves - I did not doubt that he was not aware he had them but I gave up from having new gloves just because he said he didn't have when I had about a dozen more mates at the laboratory to ask.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up using new gloves because my partner in the group did not have/said did not have more gloves
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be lazy in not asking the other mates at the laboratory for new gloves
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be helped
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am inferior to the one that I ask something to
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear mates reacting to me asking for gloves with bad manners
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being rejected in mates not wanting to give me gloves
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to give me gloves to myself by asking for gloves
I stop putting my body at risk
I ask for protection and refuse to operate with adequate equipment within the laboratory
I stop every time I see I am putting my body at risk in the laboratory
I use adequate protection to everything I do inside the laboratory
I stop the fear of being burned instead of supressing it
I breathe here
I live the word circumspect
I assess the consequences of my actions inside and outside the laboratory
