System construct: when thinking that I am so fucked up

I was watching the Tree of life interview of Aldin and at the part it talks about the expression I was like: I am too fucked up to have this moments of pure expression, this thought was like no conscient at all but then I saw that this is only a trick of the mind:

Thinking that I am too fucked up, another construct of the mind to discourage you to apply yoursalfe and that invite you to desert yourself.

SO: I AM NOT FUCKIN' FUCKED UP you MIND, never so fucked up to not BE ABLE to remove YOU from WHO I REALLY AM.

So, System To the Trash.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am too fucked up to have pure expression of myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire having pure expresion of myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to take in consideration the thoughts believing that they come from myself when in true they come from the mind, I don't speak to myself through the thoughts, is the mind speaking to me through them.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think that I am forced to go to the beach with my family only to seem more normal and be able to access favors from them.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to abandon myself when my mind run the thoughts and feelings or emotions designed to do this effect instead of releasing this thoughts with self forgiveness when I detect them, always.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to want to be happy

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to want to have a laptop

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself that I doesn't accepted or allowed myself to release myself from all the judgments I have towards myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge my situation of the process

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge myself by saying that I am not good at maths or chemistry or at singing or at doing sf or at remembering things or at organizing myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think instead of to do.

2:13 am, I know it's a excuse, tomorrow I'll get up not late.

Good NIght, appreciated blog reader

who I/you am/are here as all as one as equal in one body as self

?

School Project: Desteni

I chose the process to do my research project at school (the big one in the 2 years course I am doing). I am actually at the very beginning. If it is true that I've been reading Desteni material and have started applying, I know it is far from reach the 50% of it, so more for the 100% - btw, that cannot be because it is increasing every day) This 99% can only be of the processed material, because the process itself is never done, always things to do: SF and self honesty every day when needed, and self directive application.

The first part of the blog, and all the other part is only knowledge, if not applyed, as bernard said last afternoon: Nothing is done until is done. And: Only physical actions and doings will have an effect on the future

So better if I start moving to get things done because this summer I am required to study for the next year, because of the 2 failed subjects.

Any suggestions about the project or comment will be cool

Bye!

Ruben