Dream about my mother, next day made Real - support in process

16 august. At the car with my mother. Recording for my Blog. (she didn't hear what I was saying, me at the back) While transcribing it I had a realization that I would not anymore speak knowledge about process but speak from experience - I put a Vlog about this and it will be an entry 'Stop Preaching' on this blog.

ok

My mother says: 'In some place with shadow I will stop a bit'

ok

what I've been experiencing today... well, yesterday. - I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself fear my mother hearing me talking to the blog. - I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear my mother judging me for speaking to the camera. so... I am here. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear having an accident ( I removed my seatbelt to breathe comfortably) ok, so today i've slept until eleven thirty (11.30) I woke up when the cellphone rang but didn't woke up, so I slept (counting) nine-and-something hours - because yesterday my mother told me that - noticing I've been, that yesterday I was tired at the morning = I should sleep more today and she said that when I was young, or like a child and I was sick I used to sleep a lot and she would just give me.. eh.. like water and stuff to.. and I would sleep and then.. and regerenate or overcome the sickness. and yesterday I felt a bit sick in the morning. maybe it was.. I thougt that maybe it could be the.. my shutting down of, of the... of the systems of the mind and the, and the mind like dying - or also me noticing for the first time what I am allowing in my body, maybe. and she said me.. my mother said that.. she would.. aah.. she could support me in my process... .. well not.. not -witout this words- but she could help me talking .eh.. or responding.. answering some questions I would have about when I was a child.. ehm.. for example = if I have an issue that I am dealing and I want to ask her about any references about this issue in my childhood she said that she.. she could assist me with this. because I told.. I told her about forgiveness - that it is stopping my reactions and fears I have in the moment, in.. and then also...eh.. searching where they come from.. and forgiving myself also for the first time I reacted.. or for the.. yeah.. for the creating of this pattern or fear that now.. or the.. that.. yeah.. that still is present in the.. that still exists in the present - because of the past- the past experience. and this she said me yesterday. and yesterday in the morning after waking up I remembered what I dreamed about.. and i dreamt about my mother telling me that she knew ah.. or was eh.. was there from the beginning of the creation of me... - but me my presonality or my sistems I understood, I don't remember the exact phrase or word .. and.. this was in the morning. and then in the afternoon.. well in the morning we also went for a walk in the river with my mother.. this is yesterday.. and we talked about .. yeah.. about self forgiveness.. and, and about the equal money system desteni. and at some point, and I said.. talking about desteni that - well she.. we were having different opinions on something related to desteni and.. we were saying different things about .. about one thing of desteni or the equal money and I said: 'well, who has more authority? me that I've been looking Desteni for this - for two years? or you that have not looked anything? // I stated that. I remembered of the, of the hil.. of Bernard speaking to Hilda that she was, well, she was not any authority about Desteni because she had not applied and she had not understood or lived or.. mm... researched about Desteni, really. ah.. In-depth. So I didn't do it either so I was not - I am not an authority (my mother says something and I tell her 'one second') so I told her that = well what I said - about me being anotuhority about desteni its not true, I am not an authority in desteni, in fact I don't know much about it, so this was self honesty, I have not applied, lived all - read all the material. After this common sense and self honesty I shared with her, and she said me that she could help me with this, with my process.. well she could help me (Rosa parks the car at the sie of a wood road and says 'I wanted to comment two things with you' and I say 'ok') with this, with.. talking to me about my childhood and problems I would have now related to my childhood so this is like a dream come true, my dream of the night the next day comes true - is lived - happens - dream come true, thanks to my mother.. she.. has always been there, in my childhood she, most of the time has been there assisting me so = great.