Journey

Today I've had a talk with my parents... My mother was worried about me because I've been in front of the computer non stop for a week or more, and I talked them about process.

Basically they were afraid of me not socializing any more, and what would I 'become' with that process... Judgements about Desteni came up... I found it hard to explain what it is... Dear reader: Any commonsensical document to wake up sleeping beings?

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself when speaking to them about Desteni

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear my father disconnecting the screen for me to not be able to stay at the pc at night

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear Desteni being a fake

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to desire that Desteni is true in fear of being fooled

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to stop him from doing that instead of realizing that by resisting it he will be more decided about it

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want my fathers to see what really Desteni stands for

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear them judging me and/or Desteni

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not want my parents to have a 'bad idea' of Desteni

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react to my parents jokes about it laughing instead of directing me here

My father keeps wanting to stop me from being at the computer - why?

- Tell me..

- Put save now and bye...

- Why you want me to quit pc?

- It's a weakness I am studying I still don't know

- A weakness?

- It's in its phase of investigation..

- If it's a weakness, why do you want me to obey a weakness?

- Look, (laugh) let's see... ai ai (doubt) and more laugh..

- YOu know laughing is a protection to not realize something?

- Oh how beauty...

- So.. you want to pick up the screen so I can't be honest with myself here?

- Yes, ther are many options to be honest, not only the pc

- Here I can't share it for all to see it and be useful to others.

- Maybe it's a weaknes of you - a mirror of my weakness that you carry inside of yourself

- mom: (let's go to sleep all?)

- You know that when you say someone is something is because you identify yourself with that?

- mom: say goodnight - comeone the father is sleepy. -poor father.

- father: I will justify myself.. - I want to go to sleep - give me the screen please.

- You know it's a weakness... you said so.

- will you tell your firends your father is crazy? Not crazy.. half crazy.

- No, you are only of the mind and systems.

- Oh, ok, goodnight

- Goodnight.

I will continue with self forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I've accepted

fath: ok put that in paper, save it.. it's late.

me: just go to sleep.

I'll get up at 10

- so use the day

Ok, see you tomorrow.

I am taking the screen