abc

hi! I am here

I have been picking grapes here at the vineyards - I've been missing breath a lot - and not being effective because of this.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be here in every moment of breath wile picking grapes
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can't be aware of my breath and be effective picking grapes at the same time
I forgive myself that i've accepted and allowed myself to judge being aware of my breath and working picking grapes as difficult
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I am breath and that I am supressing myself every time I am not aware of it
I will not accept or allow myself to not be aware of myself of my breath as myself
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear 'weakening' myself because there are a lot vineyards left to work on
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear being overwhelmed by having to pick grapes continuosly during three weeks
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to do self forgiveness from the starting point of 'producing more' instead of doing it for myself as life
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to use self forgiveness in self interest as personality - wanting to obtain recognition from my employer for picking a lot of grapes
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to apply self forgiveness from the starting point of fear
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that in not directing myself within breath I am allowing myself to be directed by the mind
I am self direction
I am breath
I am life
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed yself to fear 'losing myself'
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can lose myself instead of realizing that I can lose what I really am - common sense

Yesterday I called a friend of my brother to talk to him because he has cheated his gf and I wanted to share the video on it by Desteni - Today my brother called me 'asking for explanations' and I said what I did and why and when he kept wanting to discredit me and judge me I said that I don't have to explain myself and stopped the call - and the cellphone

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear my brother calling back after I've stopped the conversation
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear talkin to my bro's friend in fear of him attacking me and in fear of me changing - having to stand by my words
I forgive myself that I?ve accepted and allowed myself to support my brothers dishonesty by giving him explanation about what I do
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear my brother attacking me
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to talk to my brother just because of this - he being my older brother
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want my mother to see that I've called my brother's friends by saying what I did to my brother
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want my mother to talk to his coworker with whom she has problems because I did talk to my bro's friend as I said I had to do
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want my brother to walk his process with Desteni
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear saying 'stop' to my brother's personality demons
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that My brother is superior to me because he is older than me
I forgive myself that I?ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am inferior to my brother
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define myself as 'brother of Gabriel'
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am worthy of socializing with other human beings of banyoles because I am my brother's brother
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am unvaluable and not worth talking to
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge my brother as cool


I am here
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear being grateful with my cousin and his couple because of the opportunity they have offered for me to work and live at the farm with them.

I am gratefullness
I am self trust
I am self worth
I am self discipline
I am breath

today I've not done school work

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not apply myself in doing school work
Today I've had a wet dream when I've sleept in the midday - I've not wake up in the moment I've set my alarm

I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to stand up in the moment I' have set the alarm in the midday



Practical application: Breath and be here in every moment of breath wihile working - and always.
Stop my reactions to my brother and talk to him directly from the starting point of myslef here as breath - not from reactions or the mind or mind as thoughts feelings and emotions
Apply myself in doing self forgiveness writtings and writtings and school work and sub4sub - more hours to that