Here I am, starting this blog where I wanna share with you my self support through writing. You can comment if you want, you can only read if you please. And now I start:
On searching the attention of the beings that surround me
I realized that I am all the time searching recognition and attention of my parents, teachers, and some mates, I like when they pay attention on me and tell me: Are you worried? Are you OK? or Why are you late today? I don't know if my actual situation come only of this wanting and needing the attention of the other beings but this night when I was on my bed after a day of doing nothing but messing around, I saw that I like being pushed, I like when people 'take care of me', I am searching the care outside me, don't caring myself and thus placing this care to a third party.
At school I have been starting late all the first morning classes for years, only to attract the attention of the class/teacher. And now doing nothing at school I have assured my dose of "knowing that someone is thinking about me. When people are worried about me, then I am satisfied, they talk to me to search solutions, and I vaguely respond sometimes, and more recently I have compromised myself to work on school but I think that if I don't solve this old bag I am carrying, things can't change effectively.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
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2 comments:
Mmm, I've had the same thing. Still do. Wanting recognition from people. Wanting girls to like me. Wanting to be noticed in some way. Maybe it's just us wanting to be noticed by ourselves...like what we're really after is self-attention. We just need to invert it all - what do I want from them that I'm not providing for myself?
Cool blog, I'll keep checking back
yes David, noticed that too
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